I’m just going to finally say it, my second book was a flop compared to my first.
Ok, maybe “failure” is a way too harsh word for what happened with my second book. But it’s a tricky topic that I’ve been discussing with Andrew and the women who work with me and it’s something I wanted to write about because I think we all experience this on some level in our lives- be it parenting, our jobs, athletics…no matter the stage on which it occurs, it stings regardless. When we achieve something great, and set out to do it again and fall short- what can and should we learn from that experience?
As of late, an odd thing has happened. My first book is a best-seller once again. It’s been out for over five years, and in checking Amazon today its #1 in Interior Decorating and Decorative Arts and #3 in Interior Design– and ranked #847 of ALL THE BOOKS on Amazon (that’s 33 million books!) It’s gone into it’s 12th printing this month which bring us to 180,000 copies. Even my publisher is bewildered by the numbers! It sold very well when it came out, but lately it’s gone gangbusters again- which is unusual (and incredible!!!)
How is this still happening?
In contrast, my second book is only in its second printing with 24,000 copies in the world. Ranked #26,166 on Amazon. Yes, it’s been out for much less time, but it also is selling way less and slower- as such, I feel quite disappointed. OK fine, I felt gutted. It took me almost three years to write that book, while learning how to be a parent to Henry, going through IVF multiple times, growing my business and renovating my house. A lot of work went into it, I’d say way more work than the first, and I was SO proud of it. I still am- the design is better, the writing is stronger and the content quite educational. But for some reason it did not resonate the way the first did. I thought for sure that the family/ living stylishly with kids angle would be so well received given what I know about my demographic…but instead perhaps it alienated those who don’t have kids or aren’t in the “active parenting” phase of life? I fought HARD for the new spine pattern design when my publisher wanted to stick to stripes again, and perhaps that was a mistake? I just didn’t want to do the same thing, the stripes were great but there are so many patterns in the world! I was also so sure people would love it- blue is our #1 requested/selling color in our work, after all. It all felt like it was going to be another raging success…perhaps a BIGGER success. And then it wasn’t. And all the sacrifices I made to make it happen a second time felt completely wasted. But why? Certainly I should be happy enough to have had a New York Times best-seller one time, was it simply greedy to think I could do it again? Were the risks I took in not repeating the same exact formula the reason it didn’t work?
Andrew is one of the best people I know at failing. And I mean that in the most flattering sense of the phrase. He is NOT afraid of risk and therefore has fallen on his face a few times, and picked himself back up, looked for the lessons in those failures and moved forward wiser. It’s made him a much better, more thoughtful employee, manager and person in general. I, on the other hand am pretty afraid of risk and do not handle failure well. And by “not well” I mean wallowing, self-blame and the general inability to let things go easily- in other words, horribly. I swore up and down after this new book came out I was DONE writing books. I felt betrayed by the process. After all that work, to have it flop meant there was no way I’d ever attempt it again, sort of a self-protective measure, I think. In some ways I let it erase the positive feelings I had towards writing and creating books that was so alive and strong within me after the first book came out. I’ve stopped writing altogether for the most part, even on this blog, because I felt such a deep sense of failure. But as I rethink the process, and the response, I’ve heard a little voice in my head telling me “maybe not too fast, Erin”. I recently re-watched a TEDtalk by Elizabeth Gilbert about creativity and failure and it really got me thinking about how the process itself is the success, not the result (can you even IMAGINE the pressure of having to follow up Eat, Pray Love???!) I actually really enjoy writing books , visually laying them out and putting all the pieces together to create something beautiful and hopefully interesting too. So why do I have to have raging success for it to feel worth doing? Why do I feel the need for outside applause instead of simple self-satisfaction? Shouldn’t it be kind of like how someone can love running and training for a marathon, and yet be super happy and proud to just finish, not win.
As I’ve aged and been through more “shit”, I’ve gotten a little bit better at trying to look at experiences in a more positive, wholistic light (Andrew is probably laughing right now and calling bullshit), but I really have tried. Social media doesn’t help us do this though, it’s literally a scrolling example of how comparison is the thief of joy- making it easy to feel glory when the gettin’ is good, and really, really low when things go amiss or get stagnant (cue my current state of mind- being unable to shoot new projects and trying to find my footing as a working mom with a baby and a toddler). But I think this pandemic, as horrific as it is, has hopefully helped people take stock of what is important and what is fluff, what is truly worth stressing about and what is something to let go. Is the fact that my book didn’t do great worth crying over? NO. Is celebrating the fact that I’ve written two books worth celebrating? YES. I need to remind myself that it’s not something everyone gets to do and the feeling I felt holding my first ever copy of my first book in my hands.
Andrew asked me the other day what I’d say was the moment in life I was happiest (besides having our children) and I was quick to answer that it was the mini-vacation we took at the end of my first book tour. I was BLISSFULLY happy. Not because of any accolades or sales numbers, none of that had come out yet, but because of what I accomplished and the full, incredible experience of meeting so many amazing people and traveling the country with my husband. I recall the feeling of letting go of expectation, perfection, regret, anticipation and really relaxed into the moment fully and let myself ENJOY it. I need to do that more often, not just during monumental times in life when I feel I “deserve” to do it. And let myself enjoy doing what I love to do without expectation or a lofty goal I have to meet. I like to work hard, I want to accomplish things in life, but that should not be the only beat I dance to. A hug from someone I love should mean more than a pat on the back from a stranger, after all.
Will I write another book? I’m not saying yes, but as of today, I’m no longer saying no. Other people will write bigger books. Better books. But that no longer means that I can’t try again. Failure doesn’t have to equate to an ending- maybe just a lesson in humility and a method by which we can reframe how we value ourselves, our time and how we define success.
The best part of my second book- taking Henry on part of my tour and seeing him sign books too!!!
I came to your blog because my parents just gave us this book to us (we have two young ones and a new house that we moved into last year that we’re slowly trying to figure out how to decorate for both style and function). So, I’d say it’s a success-it brought me here, and now I’m checking out your other stuff! And hello to a fellow #ivfwarrior
I love both of your books, but your second is my favorite!!!
Your second book was incredible! I loved the first one and I LOVE the second one. You Did an amazing job! Thank you for putting yourself out there and bringing more beauty to this world. 💙
You have made profound impact in my life in addition to my house. “Failure” sucks and posts like this are why I’ve followed you for so many years. Sending you light and love and thankful you are in my life!
Haven’t bought the second book but will now.
Not just bc you say it’s even better but also because of this post.
Also I love the spine.
I own both of your books and I really love them both. I hope you decide to write something else someday- you are so talented. Thanks for sharing this.
[…] A great read on failure. […]
For what it’s worth, I bought and devoured the second book. I was a little hesitant to at first, to be honest, because I don’t have children, and my dogs have passed… my parents are no longer with us and we have no plans to expand our family. With “family” in the name, I wondered if anything in here would be relevant for me, and that was my hesitation. If I hadn’t bought, I would have never been able to read how to live in areas that have high traffic, multiple uses. Don’t beat yourself up. Writing a book has to be harder than almost anything the average human has done. Writing two? I can’t imagine.
I am sorry you feel like your second book failed. I loved it! The pictures are inspirational, and the information is so helpful to those of us who want to make our house a “home.” Please don’t stop writing:) I have a zebra print ottoman that was inspired by your photo!
[…] A must-read from Erin on when failure follow […]
Erin, I love both of your books! I suspect the 2nd book didn’t do as well because it is a bit more of a niche audience, just by definition! How many ppl can there possibly be out there that have young kids AND have the ability to make changes to their home decor/furnishings/design to make their homes kid friendly? Whereas the first book is applicable to basically anyone who likes home decor. (I sort of equate it to maternity clothes…when you’re pregnant, it’s hard to understand why all brands don’t make maternity clothes, but if you think about it, women who are in their late 2nd/3rd trimester really narrows the number of eligible customers!).
AND I LOVE the blue binding. LOVE.
Silly to say but green spine, different pattern–I loved the content but style wise the cover didn’t work for me but I have looked everywhere for greens for tabletop styling—-moss/khaki, so tough to find. Lovely post above, wish you many future successes!
And losing the car on the cover instantly expands the demographic appeal. Wish you could do another run with an alternate cover as would love to test the success—everything you’ve chosen is no question beautiful but marketing is everything and think there is a way to rebrand your content in a newer way, while still staying true to your asthetic.
I have both of your books and while both were good your second book is so well curated and written. You are so vulnerable about parenting and practical in offering solutions. I have no idea why it didn’t sell but it is good work and you should feel proud if it. It is a beautiful book. Great post and cheers to continuing to grow.
Like many readers, I purchased the second book first and fell in love with your design, and then purchased the first book. Extend some grace to yourself. As a working mom, we are our worst critics. You have done something (twice!) that most people won’t do in their lifetime, and you should be incredibly proud of that. Your blog is also amazing. Something an amazon bestseller list won’t tell you is how you have impacted people’s lives. Your fashion fridays are my favorite, and have helped me become a more confident and stylish woman/doctor/mom/wife. I also have a beautiful bedroom compliments of you, Allison and your team, and I couldn’t be happier. You have an incredible gift!
Ok Erin, if you are a failure because of your second book “flop” I am going to crawl in a hole and eat worms! Your first book is my absolute favorite design book ever. So much so that I have bought numerous copies as gifts for friends and young people decorating their first homes. The snappy black and white cover was the draw for me, but then I actually read it cover to cover and I loved your personal story. As for your second book, I purchased it on line when it was first released. We designed and built our home 40 years ago was it was full of blue and white including a kitchen with blue checked wallpaper and blue countertops. When we redid it 20 years ago in soft neutrals I was so glad to see all that blue and white go. So anyway your latest book arrived very damaged with broken corners and smashed edges. Here’s my confession: I thumbed through it and called Amazon and returned it the next day. Ok, I feel guilty, but I did not reorder it. My excuse is we are in the purging and downsizing stage of life, our three children are married and out of the nest, and I have stacks of design books including “A Passion for Blue and White” by Carolyne Roehm 2008. Each of our children has a copy of your first book as does our oldest granddaughter.
In my case it was the mail delivery’s fault you lost a sale. Stop beating yourself up and celebrate your extraordinary talent and your beautiful home and family.
Oh my gosh, this post speaks! Giving myself freedom to fail has allowed me to take my career to where I am truly fulfilled even if the ride wasn’t perfect.
I have your first book and NEED your second. I have a navy sofa in my living room so it will look perfect there. I also have young children and absolutely love your interior designs. All of them. Also- that binding is everything!
I’ve been following you since you worked with a girlfriend years ago and I would take you on your most epic fail of a day. I know I am not alone!
I think anyone should write for the pleasure of writing, not for pleasing other people. The fact that your second book was accepted to be published, made it a success worth celebrating it in itself.
Things happened to us for a reason. Maybe this was meant for you to stop, pause and reflect what do you value the most.
I have being following your blog way before your first book and I’ll be happy to continue following you for your genuine, personal posts more than your styled perfect post as I come to realize that #goodenough (ref.Megan Hopp) is more sustainable and realistic for most of us (or at least it should be ;)).
All the best you, all.
Erin,
I love and have both books, I think the blue cover is lovely, however, that stripe spine is a real design icon. I mean if you are into design, you have to buy that book for styling. It’s a must. I vote your third book should have beige and khaki tiger stripes or maybe antelope. I already own too much leopard. You have much to offer the design world, keep writing!
I have both your books and have enjoyed both of them! But it is your latest book that I am turning to the most in this season. I actually took it to a kitchen meeting with me recently as a guide! It is a beautiful book!
I love your second book Erin!! its beautiful blue spine sits proudly on the table at my entryway. Maybe you’re right, the ‘family’ tag might’ve steered a few people away, but you produced a book that was true to that special/hard time in your life, absolutely fabulous job, in my eyes you totally succeeded and I think you are AMAZING ! Xxx
I own your second book and absolutely love it and am happy that you fought hard for that spine, it’s SO pretty!
Erin — As I was literally just rereading part of your book this morning, I’m so sad to hear you feel it was a failure! As a fellow mom of tiny persons who likes things to be pretty, and is also very hard on herself, and also has a demanding profession, and also went through IVF and years of infertility, I find your book incredibly reassuring. For months, your book has literally laid open to that page where you are discussing how hard going back to work is. When I’m having a particularly rough day and I walk by the book, I’ll take a few moments to reread those pages. Doing that always gives me much-needed comfort because it reminds me I am not all alone in feeling conflicted sometimes and it refocuses my perspective – going back to work was the right move for me, like it was for you. Thanks so much for being brave enough to be honest about the experience of IVF and dealing with work and littles. Trust me, regardless of what the sales are/were, your book is NOT a flop.
I appreciate you sharing this – as a self-admitted Type A a lot of what you said resonated and really loved your openness – so thank you!
Separately to that, as someone without kids (or plans to beget any) I thought your second book was great! I say this as someone who particularly loves your single lady pads (your Back Bay apartment is my inspiration for my next London flat). Love your work so keep doing you :)
Erin….I am probably outside your demographic..I am 79! I have BOTH your books on my shelves and they really are my go to …even though I also have many fancy decorator “coffee “table books…yours are the best…I have often worked with an interior designer and use your ideas to supplement hers… people have called my home very warm and welcoming…so THANK YOU you are a tremendous success!
Dear Erin, Comparison is the thief of joy, even in regards to our own work. Please don’t hold back from the world, it needs what you have to share. Even though our design esthetic is different from mine, I totally esteem you and your work. It’s beautiful. The spine on your second book is so pretty. Good choice. I learned so much from your second book, and it was polished and professional. But your first book was so funny!! It caused me to laugh out loud more than once, a good medicine for me. A hat trick, how about one more book about the things that you love to see in homes, without any regard for client consideration. With a spine of earthy tones! I’d buy that one too. Blessings to you, kind regards, Lisa
Repeat after me: you WROTE not one but TWO books. I am a writer and have written, let me think, ZERO books. Articles, essays, (about IVF, I might add) yes, but no books. I can’t imagine that bandwidth. Maybe it was the cover design, maybe it was the title, maybe it was just the timing. Your editors know better than I do. And who knows? This second one may come raging back like the first in a year or two. Whatever. You have a great voice; I really enjoy your writing. And, oh by the way, you are a nationally-known designer with a brand, a thriving business, two beautiful kids, a beautiful husband :), and you (like me) live in a wonderful community. Wait, what??? When’s the next book coming out? :)
I just only recently rediscovered you were out there and I’ve had your first book for a long time. Perhaps your 2nd book was not promoted well or it was timing .. I am sure my daughter would love that book as we each have our own copy of ‘Elements’ but now she has a 16 month old .. I wouldn’t call it a failure .. I’ve always wanted to write a book but putting it together is another thing so it’s a success because it reached the point of being published so that was an achievement in itself. It may soar if you were to promote it now as o feel parents are rethinking their home and spending so much more time with children at home. We are all too harsh on our own selves & shouldn’t be – but you have done a lot & I love your unique style.
I have to say, your first book was THE FIRST design book I actually read. There was something so honest and real about it. And let’s face it, I have seen it on shelves and display in virtually all (?) photos for design and decor. The black and white is kind of iconic. Being totally honest, I didn’t feel the second book would ‘apply’ to me because I am of the age where my kids are just out of the house and no grandchildren yet. I am fan of your work, Erin, and definitely am rooting for you in all you do.
Hello, I did look at this book, but to me it looked like a decorating book for people with small children. And I have no interest in decorating around toys. The first book’s cover is dynamic, clean, modern with a hint of classical… it ticks many boxes and looks like it has content with a wide appeal. So you buy the first book.
why don’t you show parts (maybe some of the best parts) of your second book on your blog. sort of an enticement. Leave people wanting more.
Erin, I think the title of your post should have been “When Disappointment Follows Success”. You are too hard on yourself and certainly have not failed at anything in my opinion. I agree with one commenter that demographics could play a part in fewer book sales this time around. Although your book is more geared to families, not many can afford to remodel their homes or hire an interior designer, especially young families. My daughter and her husband have two small kids, make decent money but they still do not own their own home. (real estate prices here in San Diego are ridiculous) They buy their furniture mostly at Ikea and Living Spaces in case something gets ruined it can be easily replaced.
I love both your books, they are full of beautiful content and ideas. (I really love the spine on the second book so I am glad you stuck to your guns!) You should be proud of all your accomplishments…including being an awesome mom. (I never get tired of looking at Instagram pics of Henry and Emma) If you do publish another book I will buy it. Haha maybe a leopard spine next time like someone else suggested. :o)
I took both out from the library and really enjoyed reading the 1st one and looking at the second one on a trip by myself. I later bought the first book only. I think your best work was in the first book. I think this is the case with many artists, they really put it all out there, they use up yheir best stuff, and the later efforts aren’t as real to me, they fall flat. I also was affected by reviews. Some reviewers of book 2 said that they didn’t want to hear such personal information. I had been through infertility, and I found myself only able to look at pictures in book 2. I just couldn’t deal with all that stuff. It was because of what I went through. After reading 1 and looking at 2, I heard that some people bought book 1 for styling with the striped spine, this was amazing to me. But why not? I personally didn’t think the paper and cover quality were that great. For blue, I have the book Beautiful by Mark Sikes. I had no idea until now that your book 2 was a comercial flop. I thought it was really nice. By the way, I have book 1 on my desk and I sometimes use it to look at beautiful pictures when I am stuck on conference calls. I hope you don’t get too discouraged. I enjoy your work and really appreciate your work. I feel that I could sense in your blog that you were less inspired lately. Thank you for sharing your gift.
Hi Erin,
This is such a wonderful post. Your description strikes me as a transition to a Values Focused, from a Goals Focused, way of living where the process/journey is fulfilling and just as important as achieving the Goal. What an exciting and radically different way to live life. Thank you for capturing and sharing your insights; it encourages me to keep practicing.
[…] thing this book has been out for a number of years now. Yesterday Erin posted on her blog of the same name as the book that the book has had a resurgence in sales and sold much better than her second […]
I use both of your books so often as references for trying to decorate my own house. Your tips and layouts in both books are amazing, and obviously the interior design is on point as well! Keep up the amazing work!
Personally, I think your second book is beautiful and I read it cover to cover just as I read the first one. Love them both and basically EVERYTHING you do! Someone else said it could have been more of a reflection of the time we are in right now. I think that makes total sense. Your books are both great and you are one of my vet favorite design and fashion idols! And your honesty is so refreshing in this world of fake perfection.
I first came across your book five years ago, in a bookstore in South Australia. I bought a copy and really enjoyed the interior design and the personal story too. I have been a follower of your blog ever since.
I have referred to your first book many times. I had a beautiful limited edition Hermes scarf that I bought on holidays in LA framed after seeing one in your book.
I have bought your first book several times to give as gifts, always enjoyed by their recipient.
I have grown up children now and 2 small grandchildren and bought your second book which I enjoyed just as much as the first book.
Perhaps the spine contributed to the overwhelming success of your first book but anyone who bought your first book and actually read it should definitely invest in a copy of your second book, they won’t be disappointed.
To sell 24,000 copies so far is a great achievement and you should be very proud.
It’s hard to help someone truly feel better when your work is received this way. I can understand this feeling after recent job loss. What I can is that I have your first book (it HAS to be the most popular book for book shelf styling of all time, and I am constantly referencing it as if it is the interior design Bible). I also just bought one of your rugs from Wayfair and love it so much. I’d love your new book, 100% agree about the cover pattern choice, will need it up once my husband and I start our family. (We got married the first weekend of quarantine!) You make me feel successful in my home! Thank you for that.
This is my bible!! :)
we love it. Know that it brings a lot of joy and info to many families. Hang in there.
I look forward to every blog too!!
I just came here to look for info about your second book, and lo and behold this was the blog post. I have never commented before despite being a longtime reader, but I just bought my first home and am in the process of decorating it to accommodate my two year old. I also just had a second miscarriage, and reading your stories of infertility has provided comfort. I read your blog for inspiration, your realness, and your wonderful style. To me you are the opposite of a failure, you are an inspiration and a source of strength. Just purchased the book xo
You, Erin Gates, are simply amazing!!! I have learned so much from you, not only about interior design, but also about LIFE. Please do not give up your dreams of continuing your writing…you will shortchange not only yourself, but us–your readers who love you and your work.
I love the images in your 1st book. The second book was disappointing to me. I think it’s because I’m not in that mommy demographic. I recall my mommy life with kids and it never looked like the pages in your second book. So maybe your reader couldn’t relate. Your blue and white cover was brillz but the few photos of you and your child put me off. I don’t know why. Too stagey?
That said, I also ordered Mark Sikes second book More Beautiful and felt the same disappointment. I didn’t see anything fresh in his 2nd attempt. Just a lot of insane patterns everywhere.
I agree about Mark Sikes second book…I loved the first one but the second was disappointing. Too many checks and florals! Not sure why he changed his dining room it was perfect before!
Hi Erin, I applaud you for being so candid about what you perceived as a “failure”. I loved your first book but haven’t yet looked at the second one – purely because I am past the young children stage – ours have flown the nest. However, I am a great believer in owning up to things going wrong or even not quite right. In my years at work I have discovered when you own up to being wrong, not understanding someone in a meeting or making a mistake, you can literally feel the sigh of relief from colleagues as your speaking out allows them to own up too to their own issues/mistakes or failures. After the initial phase of feeling like a loser, you realise everyone needs to fail in order to have a personal benchmark – otherwise no one would have any drive or ambition to improve. I congratulate you on being able to write about yours. X
I loved both books – just need you to know that!
Let’s face it. I love anything you write, even your Instagram stories for god’s sake. So yes I love both books for the very same reason – they are both chock full of inspiration and info. And I no longer have kids, so I don’t need that type of inspo, but I STILL loved the book. PS – I designed a little vignette AROUND your second book with a pack of orange and blue books I bought on OKL…..so there publishers……
So appreciate the honesty of this post. It is so easy to focus on the negative- especially during these crazy times. I waste time ruminating over the things I wished I had done better or had gone better. Even though I know I should channel my energy elsewhere, this column makes me realize I need to work harder on being kinder to myself. We all need to be kind to ourselves and celebrate who we are..
Erin, I love following you. I can tell you I didn’t buy the second book simply b/c the outside cover didn’t go with my table top decor. That is it🤷♀️…flowers…you either love them or hate them. Humans look for such deep meaning when sometimes the answer is simple! …love blue but a simple pattern less feminine would work! Keep writing…take a vote on color/theme for next next cover from your very loyal audience that just loves you.
I want to tell you I loved both of your books. They are great! I’m probably not your target audience as a 53 year old women. They were very basic but I’m persuaded that you will become more interesting as you continue to decorate. All your bones are right on!! Thank you, Natalie Kellogg
Erin I have both your books and feel there is no comparison. Number one was just fabulous!!!! Number two not so much. I am no longer raising a family and so it didn’t speak to me at all. I bought it for the blue pattern and staging vignettes. I think you greatly limited your audience.
I also think your style skews older and those of us part of your retired crowd that love your style – are not decorating for young families. Perhaps your next book could be more geared toward us?
Wow…This post gave me a lot to think about. First of all, I loved both books and bought both of them. Not only are they a great design element (love the stripes and the floral), but I have read both, cover to cover numerous times. I went to your book signing in Lake Forest (was super fun) and spent the rest of the day thinking how amazing it must be to be a designer with such mad skills, an author of two books and a beloved blogger. It never entered my mind to think about how many books you sold :) Perspective is interesting…and for many people, your success for even writing a book and getting it published would be more than could be ever expected! Food for thought!
P.S. I LUVD the Blue & White cover of your book!!!
My husband and I just built a new home and book number Two was my Bible for selecting paint, trim, lighting and finishes. Picking paint colors from Florida, during Covid was a nightmare, but I am absolutely thrilled with what I picked from your favorites. PS -our child rearing days are long behind us, but still like your second book best.
I have both your books! I would not say the your second book is a flop. Educational my it’s really good but it’s different from the first book. The first book was like a cross of Sex in the City and Interior Design. It was really funny and entertaining and educational. I like both of them!!
Great post! You’re the furthest thing from a failure and I think you know that but when you’re feeling down your mind starts to wander to book No. 2 and why it hasn’t sold as well as you expected it to. I bought your first book and loved it. It lovingly sits on my coffee table. I didn’t buy for your second book and can’t even bring myself to look at it in a bookstore or online. If you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking what is wrong with this woman! Five years ago, I lost my only child and your second book is geared towards family and it hurts too much to buy it because it’s a reminder that my child is no longer with me. Sometime there’s no concrete data or reason for why something is a success or a failure. Life works in both wonderful and painful ways.
Great post! You’re the furthest thing from a failure and I think you know that but when you’re feeling down your mind starts to wander to book No. 2 and why it hasn’t sold as well as you expected it to. I bought your first book and loved it. It lovingly sits on my coffee table. I didn’t buy for your second book and can’t even bring myself to look at it in a bookstore or online. If you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking WTF is wrong with this woman! Five years ago, I lost my only child and your second book is geared towards family and it hurts too much to buy it because it’s a reminder that my child is no longer with me. Sometime there’s no concrete data or reason for why something is a success or a failure. Life works in both wonderful and painful ways.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Jane. I can tell by your post you are strong. What wisdom and great feedback for Erin. May Peace be with you.
I was one of the 24,000 that bought your second book, and I LOVED it! I adored the blue spine and how it was totally different from your first…plus I have a blue obsession. :) I really enjoyed the angle of decorating with children as I am knee deep in that phase and always need help as I like a cohesive, stylish space. Please know there are plenty of us who loved it! Your hard work has so much purpose and beauty – keep it up!!
Great post! You’re the furthest thing from a failure and I think you know that but when you’re feeling down your mind starts to wander to book No. 2 and why it hasn’t sold as well as you expected it to. I bought your first book and loved it. It lovingly sits on my coffee table. I didn’t buy for your second book and can’t even bring myself to look at it in a bookstore or online. If you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking WTF is wrong with this woman! Five years ago, I lost my only child and your second book is geared towards family and it hurts too much to buy it because it’s a reminder that my child is no longer with me. Sometime there’s no concrete data or reason for why something is a success or a failure. Life works in both wonderful and painful ways.
Maybe the reason it didn’t sell as well was because you ramble a lot. It’s like you’re looking for readers to validate your feelings rather than provide useful content for the reader.
Hello. Please accept this message without tone or edge. It’s intention is friendly and supportive.
The harder right is challenging for us all-
no one is exempt. The easier wrong looks so tempting when we feel unheard, exhausted, unfulfilled; Basically-life’s journeys..
Of course Opinions are allowed and I bet of the 144 or so comments to this one post? Well, prob safe to say you’d get 144 different “suggestions”
Let’s be real but let’s be gracious. The world is too tough already. A kind word, a smile, paying it forward…all free and I promise, over time? You’ll be driven by gratitude and in times of dissent, stress, friction? You can be “real” and you will have low times and disappointments. However, You can be certain your examples will be empowering to all around you with your quiet examples of living the harder Right.
Erin’s ability to let us see her be vulnerable makes long time readers and newbies alike take comfort that we are all in this together. It’s not rambling, it’s honest…..she pulls back the curtain so we can see it all for ourselves. That transparency connects each of us.
Kindly,
Dana
I used both of your books during our move to a new home, and throughout the redecorating and renovation process. Your practical advice and guides helped us make decisions that we are so happy with a year later. So I’d like to say a big THANK YOU and JOB WELL DONE to you! In fact, my friend came over the other day and said she needs to get more coffee table books for her home. Of course I have some that I bought just for show, but I told her if she wants beautiful and practical, than your two books are the way to go. I know you’re not there yet, but truly hope you decide to add to the collection. I’ll be first in the line to buy it.
if I knew your address, I’d get on a plane this minute and come to tell you how very wonderful you are. I am old enough to be your Mother, and I can tell you a few things for sure…….. First of all, there IS NO HARDER JOB than taking care of two little kids. I am a Preschool teacher. I love little kids. But it’s extremely exhausting, and messes with your body and your head. Especially your head. You are doing great if your eyes are still tracking together by noon. You are doing fantastic. Second, Erin, you have no idea how much your second book has helped me, in so many ways. I love traditional style, but don’t have the confidence to pull it off because I’m afraid my choices will look like “old people” designs. Your book has shown me how to blend modern/ traditional/classic designs to make a beautiful home. It has given me confidence, encouragement, and knowledge. (Wyzenbeek, right facing/ left facing, white paint colors, mural in Henry’s nursery). Thank you a million times for writing your second book. I didn’t buy your first book because I thought that the title of the second book would make for a more realistic decorating style. The subject is perfect, the spine is perfect, your story is perfect. Thank you, Erin, for being you- and showing us your classy, vulnerable, beautiful self. You are an inspiration. And one more thing- even though approval from a family member means everything, hearing praise from a ton of strangers is pretty cool.
I think success and failure are all on how you look at both of them. Two books out in the world is amazingly spectacular! Your second book is how I first stumbled upon you and my daughter and I (32 & 53) both love your work and the book. Have been following you ever since. Your book sits proudly on my coffee table along with another decorating book. I see your first book literally on lots of other influencer/designers posts. I think your second book is just not getting the accolades it deserves. If you decide to jump back in to book writing and showcasing your work and style…I’m onboard. Congrats on your expanded beautiful family.
I have both books…both are absolutely brilliant! Love that they are different and show how you have grown as a designer and as a mother. I’m also a designer and a mother of 2. The struggle is real! You do it so gracefully.
Here’s my mantra…Crops fail, people fall. If you fall, you can get up again. It’s when we fall that we learn. If we never fall, we’re pretty stagnant!
I loved your first book and refer to it often. The second one, for me, was a fun read, but I no longer have children at home and at times didn’t feel it applied to me. I don’t think it makes it any less valuable, just different. I thought about passing it on to one of my daughters/DILs, then laughed…they don’t have TIME to read! They are in sleepless survival mode!
Anyway, I hope you will find in your journey that sometimes the process and stepping out of the comfort zone is soooo much more valuable and confidence building than “numbers and opinions.”
Keep the inspiration coming!
A hug from a loved one SHOULD always mean more than a “like” from a stranger .
I love your 1st book and recently bought a copy for my daughter. Honestly, I haven’t seen the 2nd one up close.
The fact that the 1st one is so successful, enjoy it! You have created an amazing brand! As my son – in – law says “stick to the home runs” Also as a writer of books ( you’re in sales) you have to develop a thick skin and be able to deal!
I enjoyed both books very much and certainly can’t explain why the second one didn’t do as well as the first. I did find the first book intensely personal and felt that I was getting to know you. In fact, the book lead me to the blog. On the other hand, I agree that the second book had a huge amount of helpful information. Sometimes there’s just no easy explanation for things. Thank you for this post. As hard as it must be for someone who does so many things really well to have something fall short of expectations (not the book itself but the sales), it’s really helpful to know you’re learning from the experience. What a great model for the rest of us! And as a fan of your work, it’s nice to know you may do another book—someday. Meanwhile, please keep writing this blog and sharing your talent. Not to mention your Instagram pics of the work’s two cutest children (other than my own grandson, of course). You truly are an inspiration to a lot of us.
You have gotten many lovely comments here and I feel you were very brave to share your feeling about your second book. I love reading your blog and I am way out of your age group and current focus in life but I am very impressed by your work and love getting your emails. Perhaps you can let your readers help you with the cover of your next book….it might be a fun contest! It is enjoyable to watch young women learn and grow and I believe you will continue to do just that! Blessing to you and your family!
Erin,
I loved your second book! Maybe another PR push is what the book needs! So many individuals are stuck at home and using this time to update/design their homes!
Best,
Chris
For me, it is the “child” angle as I have never had children, so simply a matter of can’t relate and/or not relevant to me. With that said, I would probably still look through the book since I love interior design as a whole. And personally, I love the cover and the spine. Definitely is alluring.
Although I read both of your books courtesy of our local library, I only considered buying the first book. Why? I married late, was widowed early and never had children. Elements of FAMILY Style does not resonate with me although I enjoyed reading the book. I just don’t want to own it. So, by using that title, you changed the demographic whether that is fair or not. Don’t let it haunt you. Learn and move on. Your talent speaks for itself.
Thank you so much for sharing this—I needed to be reminded that we can rise from failure!
I don’t know which book it was in (I have both)-but I would like to thank you for the Ben Moore Glass Slipper paint recommendation. I used it in 2 bedrooms and the upstairs bathroom in my condo. I sold this summer at an amazing price, and to a person, EVERYONE who saw the place said “the bedrooms are so serene-I love this paint color!” Great design advice! Thank you!!
I think you’re correct about limiting book content based on your demographics. I don’t have children at home anymore, so wasn’t initially as interested in this second book though I loved the cover. I do enjoy the first book and keep it sitting out in my family room. Maybe another book with a broader content? You have great talent! I’d love to see more of it. Best wishes!!
I love and enjoy re-reading both of your books. They remain on my coffee table for easy access ( and they look pretty too!)
I will forever and always appreciate your raw authenticity that you bring to this blog. You make the rest of us feel normal, seen and vindicated. You wrote two more book than I ever will in a lifetime. So you will always be a smashing success in my book.
I never read your first book. I have the second and I loved it. My children are grown (23, 25 and 27)but I still like to live in a comfortable home that is welcoming to children. I want people to feel relaxed when they come to my home and not afraid of messing things up. That being said, I still love beautiful things. Your book married the two.
Congratulations on the first book! But.. I just can’t believe the 2nd could be even close to a failure! I live by that book! All the page are literally falling out because I look at it so often! Any decision I make I reference book #2. I’m a mom in Weston and I felt like I struck gold when I walked into Serena and Lily and finally found a decorating book that was for families! There was actually family friendly decor with actual toys in the pictures and realistic furniture that can get spills! I love both of your books but book 2 is the best!! I absolutely love it and you should feel proud! I have yet to find a book like it. All I can think is that the marketing on amazon isn’t right and people are missing out!
Your second book is one of my favorite books of all time and I have gifted it to so many friends who absolutely love it!! I guess it’s like what they say about kids – you can’t compare one to the other they are so different (and representing different points in your life). My point is, maybe those who read your first have gotten around to reading your second book yet? And when they do they won’t be disappointed!
It has a great spine – you should celebrate that it sold so well as a book for staging!
To me your second book was as great as your first.
Hi Erin! I absolutely loved your second book, and actually like the blue spine even more than the striped. (I had no idea spines were such a huge deal before reading the comments here.)
I just wanted to say that I read your book while I was pregnant and was it was so helpful. Most of my friends are in the “don’t bother buying anything nice until your kids are grown” camp, which really bums me out. Reading your book gave me the confidence to say NO THANKS to that idea. I’m getting ready to order custom Louis dining chairs with performance velvet and a indoor/outdoor ticking stripe on the back. My friends think I’m crazy, and you know what? I do NOT care. I know the chairs will hold up. I know they’ll look great and my family will enjoy many meals together on them. I’m so happy in my little home. Thank you for looking out for your readers and providing us endless inspiration! You really do make our lives better!
Not an explanation for sales, but frankly I bought both books more as a thank you for your amazing blog, which is really where I have learned so so much. You taught me about klimt chairs, grisaile, intaglios, I have the same grasscloth wallpaper as you, I picked white paints that you recommended, etc – everything you do is fabulous and I really appreciate the way you share. (I do wish some of the older blog posts were still up but I suppose with dead links, etc that doesn’t work so well). Anyway thank you!!
My review of the second book: I didn’t buy it to see the work of other designers.
I’m curious as to why the addition of some rooms by other people was such a turn off?
I own and love and have learned from both books; they are part of a much larger design library, so the lovely cover spines don’t make any difference (ie they don’t have a secondary use as a decorating prop). And I understand how it’s easy to get hung up on the comparative detail of ‘only’ 20,000 sales, because, well, detail level is where designers dwell, isn’t it? And so I encourage you to think big picture…. as in, 20,000 sales SO FAR. There will be more, and there may well be a resurgence as there is with book #1. But these books are a wonderful sharing of your creativity, and if the process nourishes you, please please keep going. Think of (other) authors of multiple books (everything from fiction to history to design, whatever), architects who have created dozens of buildings, artists, movie producers, anybody with a creative life – some of their works are more commercially successful than others, some are rediscovered later on because they are ahead of their time; creative works – like children – have a life of their own. Aren’t we glad some of our favorite authors/series/creators didn’t stop at #2?
Imagine yourself at say age 90, looking back at all the interiors you’ve created and your 14-or-however-many published books ;) , maybe you’ll say ‘meh, #2 didn’t sell so well at first, but #1 knocked it out of the park, #3, 5, and 7-12 did too…” You have and will have so much to say and share, and So Many Fans …we honor your candor and vulnerability and reflect back to you validation and encouragement and hopefully an inspiring new perspective….
Oh, you definitely need to write another book. You’re a brilliant author and a magnificent designer.
I have both books, and love them equally! I definitely wouldn’t say failure, especially since you were able to share that moment in the spotlight with your son. How cool will it be for him to look back and see that his mom was a best selling author and that he got to sign some of her books?! You are a strong woman setting such a wonderful example for your children. Take heed in that. Cheers!
I loved both books so much and refer to them all the time. They are both huge accomplishments. Well done Erin!
X
Ahhh…maturity & hindsight…life is fickle. You & Tobi Fairly, etc. etc. It’s all about “the ride.” franki
Hi Erin, I LOVED both your books but the only thing I noticed is that the print quality seemed lower in the second book. The colors and the printing (not the images!) felt less rich and may have turned off some buyers. Just a observation to keep in mind for your 3rd book!
Yes, there was a slight print quality issue with the first run which was very upsetting. :(
Can your publisher make a new cover for the second book? I see different covers on the same books all the time. I think if you had a more graphic cover it would start selling like the first. Not to take anything away from the actual content but I do think it’s one of the reasons the first book keeps selling. Don’t give up!
Hi Erin, around the time I found out I was pregnant (I’m due to have my first baby at the end of November) I stumbled across your book. It was perfect for me; I worried about losing my house and my love of decorating to baby things and the destruction that I’d been warned toddlers bring to a home, and your book alleviated so many of my concerns. It’s a fabulous, elegant and practical book. The blue and white spine is beautiful and sits proudly on display in my living room. It has given me so many ideas (including framing a Hermes scarf – I picked it up from the framers last week and it looks spectacular). Thanks for all your great ideas and for sharing so much of yourself. You’ve helped me… And I live all the way across the world in Canberra, Australia. I hope you do find the energy to write more books.
Hi Erin! Thought I’d contribute with my input on how I “discovered” you. I was browsing a bookshop at a time after lots of years renting I was finally living in a house with my boyfriend which he owned so I could decorate, the joy! I was just looking around and your book just leapt out to me, the stripes of the cover (in my opinion) does a lot to sell your book and I had to get it. Not only did it look like an interesting read it looked pretty too:) I devoured your book and that’s how I found your blog and Instagram and have followed you since. I think it’s been about 5 years now!
I haven’t bought your second book and to be completely honest it is a combination of using Pinterest for all things DIY and decorating and that the blue and white pattern doesn’t really speak to me.
Having read this I’m now I’ve now bought your book! I have a 1.5 year old and a big, slobbery dog (and 8 and 10 year old stepsons) and I would absolutely LOVE to live in a chic home as it looks anything but chic at the moment. Also want to say I love your writing and your blog is one of the few I still read:)
From your biggest fan in Australia –
You are ah-may-zing. Your second (second!!!) book sold 24,000 COPIES. I searched EVERY book store and design store in Brisbane and finally pre-ordered your book from a U.K. seller to get an advance copy sent to me – which I promptly took on vacation to read cover to cover. Your book is the only U.S.-based blogger style book I’ve ever seen design stores here stock. Those who know you LOVE YOUR STYLE.
Look at your sales in another way – YOU HAVE INSPIRED THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS of us who cannot afford to hire a professional designer, and still have helped us make our homes more beautiful. Selling less of one book over another doesn’t make it less special. It means YOU HAVE RELEVANCE and still have loyal fans who will buy from you again.
When I read your first book – you were a revelation. Someone real who I could relate to. I remember looking at page 178 and seeing a Moroccan wedding blanket on the edge of the bed, just like I had…and then on page 180 – a bedhead that looked liked mine (khaki Belgian linen with nail head trim), the exact John Robshaw block print sheets that I owned, a Turkish -ish rug similar to mine, and a gourd lamp. For the first time (since the original Domino magazines), I thought – HERE IS AN AUTHOR WHO GETS MY STYLE. I’m not pure Bohemian, I’m not pure Glam, I’m not pure mid-century Modern. I’m not strictly modern. You effortlessly convey to us that our own personal style is worth curating.
And what I loved about your book besides resources, were the confessional pages where you gave insight into you as a person, as a blogger, as someone trying to make it in your own career. You were real and relatable.
Interestingly, I have fonder memories of that book. Because it felt more personal since we got to know the you outside of your profession.
When I look at both books on my bookshelf, I have 6 post-its sticking up from your 2nd book (vs. the 1 “my 45 favorite paint colors” from your 1st book). I’ve implemented more of your inspiration/ resources from your 2nd book (e.g. the Land of Nod/ Crate and Barrel Kids clear bookshelves, a lion portrait by Sharon Montrose in my son’s nursery). It truly is a resource book to treasure.
I wish I could put my finger on why your 2nd book doesn’t pull on my heartstrings as much, despite that I am a mom who needs help corralling clutter! Maybe the rooms are too perfect all the time? Please just know that YOU ARE EPIC. You are beyond talented and are a MUCH-NEEDED VOICE in the design world.
Please keep writing, please keep sharing, please keep creating.
Thanks for this very thoughtful comment :)
Hi Erin, I have both of your books, bought in South Africa. The one thing that disappointed me was the size of the books. As the first book was such a success, I would have thought that your publishers would go for a bigger format which shows off your work much better. As much as I have followed your infertility struggles and am overjoyed that you now have two precious children, perhaps a ‘decorating book’ is not the forum for your personal struggles, I feel that could have been a separate book. I wish you continued success, don’t be disappointed, your talent stands for itself.
I’m so proud that you picked my print for your spine. I’ve so enjoyed showing it off! I’d hate to think it had anything to do with it not performing like you’d hoped. I think the book is fabulous and I wish you increasing success with it!
Nooooooo, your print is amazing. I think maybe it’s just that black and white is neutral and therefore works in more homes. Thank you for letting me use it 💙
Erin – just feedback from one fan….. been reading The blog for years, bought your first book. Loved the spine and design of the second book – but didn’t buy it, simply because I am no longer in that stage of life. That’s it. Not because it was worse, or you were less worthy, it just wasn’t relevant to me. I’m sure your next book (leopard spine, surely?!) will be fabulous and chances are I’ll buy it. But my kids are in their mid teens, and book #2 just didn’t resonate with me. You are still fabulous, and your work is still amazing. Keep on doing you. Xx
A lot of the book isn’t about kids though- I think that is the issue- people think they can’t get anything from it but most of the rooms, otehr than nurseries and playrooms, really do apply to anyone.
I really appreciate this post, and I’ve missed your writing. Both of your books are incredible. I keep the second on my bedside table, both because it is a joy to read through frequently as a young mom, and because the spine simply delights me daily when I turn my alarm clock off. Failure is relative to everyone- I might think your bar for yourself is too high, but I’d be a pot calling the kettle black. Learning how to fail well is something I am grappling with, too. I do hope you will make another book someday. At the very least, please don’t stop writing. Your generous, authentic words are just as interesting and worthy as your design work.
I think you really nailed a lot of experiences here, and I applaud your usual blunt honesty. It is my most very favorite part of your writing.
I love both of your books! Your book covers/spines are like works of art on my shelves so I’m glad you went with different designs. Thx for sharing this honest post about reframing failure and redefining success. What an incredible thing to have published 2 books – seriously it’s a huge accomplishment!!! I also really love your blog:-)
Erin, I for one loved your second book, read it cover to cover, and it inspired me to purchase your first. I actually haven’t even read the first. Kudos to “failure” and moving forward. Your honestly over the last few months has been refreshing, btw.
Babe Ruth’s batting average was .342…he’s a legend and he “failed” 65% of the time.
Honestly, I think it is the cover. I ordered your first book and gave as gifts to many of my design enthusiast friends because it looks so darn good on the stack or on the shelf. It is smaller and stacks on top of bigger coffee table books. The binding is snappy and it looks great on a shelf. I’m sure your 2nd book is great but I didn’t even bother because of the blue & white. I bet if it had a zebra binding it would of been another home run. Unfortunately, people do judge a book by its cover.
I think it’s all relative. If your first book had sold “only” 24,000 copies, you’d have been thrilled. It’s only because of the incredible success of Book 1 that you view Book 2 as a disappointment. I own both and love them both. Your writing style resonates with so many people so, whether it’s the blog or another book, I hope you will continue to write as much as your busy life allows.
Excellent point. :)
What a wonderful post. I loved both books and in many ways related more to Family Style. You need to be kind to yourself. If you told your adolescent self that you would have written two books (1 a NYT best seller) What would your reaction be? My guess is it would have nothing to do with results. You simply would be thrilled with the accomplishment and felt super cool. Which you are. Cheers to you and well done.
Very proud of the young woman you are today, Erin! This post is so well written and shows that your time of reflection has produced clarity. . My theory is that with the birth of her baby, a woman’s need to receive recognition and praise from the outside world retreats. You have just produced the most incredible , unique thing in the world and don’t need recognition for anything else. You can still achieve great things…that’s who you are. But you don’t have to!
I bought and throughly enjoyed your second book. As a mom of four I felt that I could relate better to the design in the second book….especially wanting just one “grown up” space!
For what it’s worth, I think the second book is better in all the ways you mentioned. You can see how your design has evolved and elevated. Honestly, the grandmillenial /blue & white trend is approaching peak and I think more people will buy it for the spine alone as they ride along. I LOVE the spine.
Erin – I almost did not buy book #2. I, too lived the infirtility nightmare. I quit when I knew that I had physically and mentally had enough. I someone how got pregnant on my own only to miscarry. The miscarriage has been harder to heal from than the failed treatments. Six years and one heck of a battle with body dysmoprhia later – I just feel like I am getting back to the me I was before the trauma. The “trauma” almost made me not buy your second book. Who needed a reminder of what I was never going to get to decorate around? Well, the book came out and you posted some photos and I really like your style and the blue and white spine, well I thought it would look fantastic in a coffe table book stack. So, I bought it. I’m so glad I did. I learned a few things from reading it, and I still enjoy thumbing through it for ideas. I may not have kiddos to decorate around, but I have two fur babies (cats) and I wish I had your book before I dropped way too much money on a jute rug from Pottery Barn! (HUGE, HUGE mistake!). You are a published auther and have sold over 200K books. How cool is that? Congratulations!
I’m so sorry you had to fight that battle too, and how sweet of you to buy the book anyways. And yes, jute and pets is NOT the best idea unless you really like replacing rugs often :)
Erin! You wrote TWO amazing books!!! And are a loving mom, successful business woman, and all around lovely person.
I would just like to share that I have your second book and my 12 year son, out of the blue one day, came to me and said – “Mom that furniture book you have is amazing. It gives me a lot of good ideas for architecture.” (he wants to be an architect.) So you have at least 2 fans of that book over here!
Ummmm, that is amazing!!!!
I have both books and I reference the second book more! We just moved to a much larger home when I had my third kid and this book helped me make some big decisions. They are really both beautiful and you should be proud no matter what! And I love the blue spine! Congrats!
To be honest I didn’t buy the second book because my children are grown and long gone, decorating their own spaces. I honestly think your demographic was just narrower. I bet the people who bought it loved it just as much as the first book.
The best seller lists are a numbers game, and are not indicative of how great or not so great a book is.
I’m 66. Once I decided to stop competing and just live my life to the fullest, I became blissfully happy.
Erin,
If you write a third book I will buy that as well. I honestly loved both books and continually reference them equally. You make me smile and are enormously talented!
Please don’t ever stop writing… you have an incredible way with words that has kept me reading your blog for years (that, and your red carpet reviews)! You wrote a beautiful tribute to Andrew years ago that I still think about! I love your design blog posts and your deeply personal ones too… thank you for being so vulnerable with this post. Instead of thinking of it as a failure or flop, maybe you can say “it did very well, just not as well as the first”?
You said yourself that there is a lot of pressure with a second (in your post “The Pressure of a Second.”: Obviously, each will have their own strengths and personalities and you’ll love them in slightly different ways, but the same amount. Same for these two books- they are very different in style and look, and tell a much different story- but one that has the same feel and voice as the first, of course. It’s scary to put out a follow up to something successful- the stakes are so much higher and the fear much more palpable.
It’s very much the same as having another kid after your first blows your mind with their perfection. Great point. Now we have Emma and she’s just as great, but in a different way than Henry.
180,000 copies – DAMN. Mad congrats on that still-unfolding accomplishment! My copy is sitting in a bookcase nearby with some of my other favorite design books.
I’d assume a general decorating book will usually sell better than a niche one (regardless of author and spine), but it must be frustrating when you put the same time and care into both.
Okay, I know you didn’t write this post looking for anyone to tell you how much they love your second book, but I’m here to do it anyway! Decorating with small children is a very daunting task for me. I have always admired your style and pre-ordered both of your books. While I love the first, I use your second book often. In fact, I just did this weekend! Thank you for your honesty in this post. And know you have big fans of your second book out there!
24,000 books is awesome! You should be proud not disappointed!
I absolutely adore the blue floral spine of the second book! I loved both books. I found the first one very helpful when I was in the process of renovating the kitchen in my old house, and the second was a great resource when I moved into my current home (with two little ones). Keep writing Erin – we like your point of view and what you have to say!
Hi Erin. I have followed you a long time, and like others, I own your first book and not your second. I hate to admit it was solely an aesthetic decision – the blue and white does not go with anything in my house (even though I LOVE it in theory). I don’t know why I felt why it needed to match my interior – I purchase tons of books for the content and don’t give a second thought to the cover – maybe because it was a book about interior design?? Regardless I have two small children and could probably use all your advice so will be ordering now.
Awww thanks!
I own both your books and love them equally. Your writing is fresh and down to earth, and the books are full of design content that is actually helpful (not all of them are). And TBH that spine on book #2 is *chef’s kiss* and I would have totally fought for it too.
PS: You can guarantee that if you ever write book #3 (and any that follow), I’m going to purchase, read (because your copy is amazing), and display it for all to see.
I don’t own either of your books, but plan to promptly go to Amazon to order (I haven’t been to a bookstore in months). I read your blog regularly because I like your style and have incorporated many of your ideas into my own home. I hope you never stop writing!
Erin, I LOVE your insta and your blog. I LOVE your writing. Precisely for posts like this one. I definitely fall into the never-had-children camp (with so many emotions wrapped in that). I admit to feeling alienated by the subject and focus of your second book with those emotions driving why I haven’t gone there yet. I am sorry I have not bought it or read it. I am a fan so I feel I have been unsupported and disloyal. Regardless, I look forward to your posts and everything you write on your blog and enjoy reading about your real life living as a designer and entrepreneur and a wife and mom. Love your fashion posts too and things like favorite podcasts, etc. I hope you do continue to write. Please don’t abandon us!! I never tire of you. All of your analyzing I would be doing, too. Still, the best choice is always what you feel in your heart is right for you and trust in your gut. Allow your publishing/marketing team to take some blame here. Or the market and what was also your competition at the time. I find your takes on working, building your business, finding your style and brand, building relationships with clients and business partners, etc. all interesting. I also am a Yankee at heart and think its why I enjoy your work so much. I am now living in the South and as much as I enjoy the beautiful town of Alexandria I now live in and great Southern traditions and hospitality, I miss New England and would happily move back if the opportunity presents itself again. You are no failure. You inspire so many of us, including me– a near 50 yr old who has never married or had children. Your audience is wider than you imagine. It’s your voice and your perspective as you create and live your life that connects and resonates — the subject could be anything. Truly.
* I feel I have been unsupportive
I am a Heather fan. :)
As a co-author of 12 design books, I’d like to say that 24,000 is a very respectable sales figure for a design book and it is truly amazing that you knocked it out of the park with 180,000 on your first book! With such huge success on your first book, you created a very hard act to follow–but you know that you put even more into the second book and made it even better, so give yourself a huge pat on the back! FWIW, I own your second book and not your first. My kids are past the age where I have to decorate around them, thank goodness, but I will confess I love the spine and design and it looks beautiful at the top of the stack on the coffee table in my blue-and-white living room. I think there’s also a lot of great advice in it!
First of all, first books tend to sell the best in my experience. Secondly, I wonder if the reason it’s selling so well again is that black and white is very much in fashion right now! Your books are timeless and it is wonderful that they continue to sell and be offered by your publisher! Most designers are cautioned not to publish to make money, but to create a wider platform and calling card for their work–and yet you broke the mold and actually probably made a lot of money on your first book! Give yourself a huge round of applause! Of course YOU made that happen by building a huge audience with your blog. Maybe that was a little less of a factor/impact by the time your second book came out. But don’t give up on writing! Just wait til you have something you truly want to say, enough new projects to make it worth your while, and the time (when your baby is a bit older?) to make it less overwhelming and stressful. Congratulations and thanks for the honest post!
Hi Erin, this was a great post. I’ve been following you for 6 years and read every single blog post you made since 2007. I learned a ton from you. You are a full on go getter and your achievements have grown year over year – you have some biggies. I don’t know how you have kept it up with so much you and Andrew have dealt with on the personal side. I have both of your books, I do not have any children ( just a pup). I love them both but adore the first and the whole spine thing- I am not a blue and white personality but bought at least 5 of each to share with my crew. I think timing and life circumstances play a huge role in outcomes – some we can see, some we can’t. Your timing on the first hit the jackpot and maybe for whatever reason the second happened during timing that wasn’t jackpot timing. Please don’t stop writing or dreaming of another. Your portfolio continues to mature and is phenomenal. There is another story to be told. You know much more now than you did while writing the first two. You are not done by a long shot. Your honesty and talent are what’s captured me and kept me a solid fan. You’re also funny as hell (um the shed demo commentary?!?🤣). I wish I could afford to hire you. Be well and let your creative spirit continue to guide you. It won’t let you down.
Wow, this post makes me want to buy your second book.
Read the post, coming to say I bought the cook bc of the blue spine. It resonated with my style- and the content was the second reason.❤️
Well, I was hoping for leopard print on the spine so let’s blame the blue print. Which I also love as a long time collector of blue willow. You struck lightening in a bottle the first time. Who knows why exactly. Both books are charming and informative and you worked your ass off on each. I remember after book one you were going thru in vitro hell and wondering if you’d given too much time and effort to your book and lost your chance to have a baby. Around the time of book one you were also blogging five days a week and writing long fashion posts for every award show. Basically killing your self. We’d rather you have more time with family and less presence on social media. That’s a good trade off in my opinion.
Wait!! Leopard print is THE KEY Erin! Your content on both books is fabulous but the stripes resonated, and I’m willing to bet leopard would too! ❤️
I loved both of your books! And I agree the second one was better written (and I am not in the kid phase of life). And I would agree with your happiness at the end of your book tour (which is when I started reading your blog), you were radiant. And I wish that for you again. I also think that we’re (I am the same age as you) entering a decade of contentment or at least that’s what my older friends tell me. Best wishes to you and to your next book! I’ll be here to read it all and cheer you on!
Hi Erin, Thanks for the post. I certainly like when you dig in here and write. I own your first book but not the second. I bought your first book at a book signing in Dallas, TX. To be honest, I have no idea why I don’t own the second book. I am 31 and not a mom so maybe I figured as the title was geared toward family life, it wasnt for me, yet? I for one LOVE the spine of book 2 – even more than book 1. I am a hardcore blue lover like so many of your clients. I have loved your blog for a long time – truly a space for interior design junkies to go, no matter their profession. That’s certainly what I love and what I hope continues here.
Stand up stright, Go forward – XO
Thank you for your openness and ability to articulate in writing something that so many people think and feel. I’ve followed you for years (met you and Andrew during your tour in SF!) and appreciate your realism and vulnerability. All of this in addition to your creativity and amazing talent. I’ve been through a lot of personal and professional ups and downs in the last 7 years and what you are saying really resonates with me. So thank you and keep moving forward!
After I had spent most of the previous night stressing about a failure to meet my own (unrealistically) high expectations, I was cheered when I heard this quote on the radio while driving to work the next morning:
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. – Winston Churchill
Anne Lamott’s book Bird by Bird is one that I have to reread every 5-8 years to remind myself that the process IS the thing. She tells a story in the opening chapters about speaking to a class of students and asking them on the first day whether they are there to write a best seller… she goes on to break down the statistic realities of a best seller (WHICH YOU HAVE, DEAR!) and why in order to be a writer you must be in love solely with the process of writing. Because if it becomes about the outcome, you will create a prison out of something you thought was a passion. Humorous twist: I think I stopped writing because I realized that if I didn’t get accolades (or worse, I got awful criticism), I wasn’t sure I really enjoyed it all that much… You have done and will do incredibly things. Keep writing. You have so much left to say.
Great post, Erin. And while we may not all be authors? I’m betting we all have some high successes and some low disappointments. So difficult while in that space but likely most would agree: it really does shape a person and enrich their journey.
Lately, I’ve been remembering something my grandmother used to say frequently to me. She was born in 1903 and had a masters degree in English Lit by 1927. She taught at an all female college until they made her resign for getting married to my grandfather in 1936. We’ve come a long way, no?
Anyways, she’d say:
“You know what The Roman Emporer Hadrian said about Rome, ‘Brick by brick, my citizens. ‘”
I got so used to it and it’s frequency but would wonder why does she apply that rationale to so many different situations?
Now, I understand better. So much of life is about building and rebuilding: our hopes, dreams, relationships, jobs.
2020 a great example. What a doozy.
Of course it may take time/hurts/restarts/fear, but I’m thinking people will rise and persevere. We have to-what’s the alternative?
Best to everyone who reads this blog and to Erin.
Dana
Minneapolis, MN
Beautiful sentiment! Your grandmother sounds like a remarkable lady. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks Emily. I appreciate your comment. It was a nice memory yesterday. Be well.
Dana
Thank you for always being so vulnerable with us and then generous with what you have learned. You have accomplished soooooo much! (And by the way, you forgot to mention your own remodel, your jewelry line and your pillow and rug line.)
One of the benefits of watching our kids grow up , is we learn to grow with them. For me, as long as my kids always gave their best effort that was a huge win and something to celebrate. Why is that any different for us?
Congratulations on the sales re-explosion of your first book-first on the bestsellers list!!!
I’m curious about how much of sales on first book have to do with the actual spine vs content? The stripes were a big seller, maybe florals not as much. People use it a prop which is great… more sales! Don’t beat yourself up or read to much into it. Some gimmicks hit, some don’t. At the end of the day you know the work you put into it. Be proud and hold your head up high.
I’ve been hoping to buy your second book for years. We are in the throes of IVF/miscarriage, etc and if we ever get to the point where it feels safe enough your book is the first thing I will buy to celebrate. So that’s one future sale, hopefully!
OH, good luck!!!
I have read both of your books cover to cover more times than I’d care to admit (okay, at least five, but not more than ten.) They are both spectacular. I do not have children and do not plan to, and I still found the second book extremely insightful and inspirational. And I think the spine is BEAUTIFUL. I have spent good money on other design books and, though many have been great, I have yet to find one I enjoy nearly as much as yours. Thank you for sharing your words, your art and your life with us!!
I enjoyed this post as well! My personal opinion is that it is less a reflection of you and your work and more of a characteristic of this moment in time … a time when many are super focused on organizing, minimizing, de-cluttering,etc. Add a desire for “less stuff” to the fact that you are so generous with your blog and Instagram posts and I think maybe some people just weren’t in the frame of mind to order another book! Love your work and look forward to seeing whatever you do next!
I appreciate this post. Look at the book from the context if your husband or adult child wrote it, what message would you give them?
Be fair with yourself. We are always our own worst critics.